oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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