insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
