What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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