dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
