I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
