Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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