you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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