Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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