I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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