problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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