sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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