My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
