im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
