take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
