capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
FUCK WHALES
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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