Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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