That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize