You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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