party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
