I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
