I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
