i just wanna soil my oats bro
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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