question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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