I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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