Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
