if you like me you must not know who I am
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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