the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
