Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
