There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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