So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
