You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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