I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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