real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize