READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
