I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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