...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
nutella sex= disaster
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
