I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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