What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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