He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
