so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
