She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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