before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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