I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
