Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
