I CAN MOONWALK!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
