if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
