i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize