I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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