I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
