only you would photoshop your dick
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
