a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize