yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
