you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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