I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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