JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
