I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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