He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
