Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
