I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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