so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
